HOPE IS FRAGILE

“….. there can be miracles when you believe.

Though hope is frail, its hard to kill” …lyrics from the song 

“when you believe” by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston.

Many of us may not identify that song as a gospel song, but it carries a strong message. I woke up this morning asking God a few questions, not out of ungratefulness but more of clarity. My conclusion after our conversation is “Hope is fragile”. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have lost hope more times than I can ever count, yet I am still here; I’d thought God would have given up on me by now, and He would have stopped recounting His promises to me. I have tried severally to not remember, even up until yesterday, I had told myself “it was not going to happen”, something I used to be scared of saying, but as the days went by, the words grew bolder in my mind, and I was no longer afraid to say it.

During our Prayer session yesterday, the leader asked us to thank God for Hope. By the end of that prayer session, the pastor made some declaration to which I said: “Amen” ( telling myself and God that I agree and believe ). Right after the prayer ended, I told myself, “I don’t know why I bother believing because the one I have been hoping for so long is not forthcoming; it’s looking like it’s all a fantasy.

I sound like I have lost faith here but don’t judge me; I am only human. I have hoped and prayed for one thing, which I believed God revealed to me, but every day it seemed to me like it was only a fantasy I cooked up in my head. I even asked for spiritual guidance, and they told me to forget about it, which I did, and then months later, it returned to me again. 

Could I be genuinely losing my mind? SO I gave up hope, and what do you know, this very morning after my conversation with God, He revived my hope in this very thing. Perhaps I should say, “Hope is tiring” because I am tired, and yes, it’s hard to kill. Pray for me y’all