Think of marriage as you may but never forget this: IT IS NOT PERFECT
I guess this where I explain and break it down for you. If the rate of divorce, the many celebrity breakups and divorce even amongst the children of God, the many quotes, preaching, counseling on marriages is not enough for you then I don’t know what Little ol’ me have got to say that will convince you. However, I will give you a little background;
Many people look forward to the day they get married, I for one,was not one of those people,at a point, I thought I might never get married. I turned down every guy that approaches me. The truth is, I really enjoyed being single and independent so much so when I realized my husband was the one, the first thing that I thought of was “this is it, this is the end”; my heart sunk a little bit, I must confess.
Now you must think I was that girl that liked dating every guy or jumping from one guy to another, well like I said I turned down every guy that asked me to be their girlfriend, let’s just say It wasn’t my thing, I didn’t want to waste my time on a guy I am not going to marry, it seemed pointless to me, I was not ready for all the heartache and sacrifices “in the name of love”, long story short, I was too focused on finding myself and being myself. I must confess what I enjoyed most in my singlehood was the long chats, the attention, them wanting to do anything for me, I enjoyed the “suspense”, I enjoyed hearing their stories (although some may be lies) and when they tell me “ I love you” or “ you’ll make a good wife” I enjoyed lecturing them, and explaining to them that, “you don’t love me” or the part where I simply say “thank you”. It was almost like I had no feelings, I was very blunt, still can be when the occasion arises.
Think of it as you may, I miss being single.
One time I even thought of marriage as a form of bondage, I even said so to him (my husband) this was before we even officially started dating. I never hated marriage but I realize now that it was what I was surrounded with growing up that gave me that idea of marriage. I never said I was not going to get married but I knew if I did, I would have first achieved all the things I wanted to and as a result, I wanted to marry as late as possible. I also knew I would be my person so when the man comes along I would not rely on him or what he’s got to offer me, again this all comes from my background. I will talk more about this in future posts.
Now don’t get me wrong I love my husband, well I think I do.
The day we got married was not the happiest day of my life because all my life I was never focused on having a great wedding, with the perfect wedding dress or venue, I was always focused on the marriage i.e what happens after the wedding day. I am spending the rest of my life with this person, it better be a good one, I said so many NOs so I get to be with this one person, so forget that one day, I am more focused on the rest of my life. I am sacrificing a lot here.
Now you may think of me as an egomaniac, lacks understanding, proud and ungrateful all of which may be right but wait I am not done yet.
(to be continued)
